Radio – Someone Still Loathes You


RadioI’m not entirely sure where people hear about the latest music. I get judged on regular basis for mistakes like confusing Iggy Azalea with Azealia Banks, or commenting that Lorde sound completely different since their Eurovision hit Hard Rock Hallelujah. But if I do actually listen to the radio, I never seem to hear these newer songs.

Maybe it’s because I’ve never felt young enough to listen to Radio 1 (in fact I got a Cease & Desist letter from Nick Grimshaw when he took over just to make sure I didn’t accidentally tune in one morning). But even when I have no say on which radio station is playing, they all seem to play old songs. Songs which make people nostalgic for an non-specified “better time” somewhere between the late 80’s and early 00’s.

Then again this may come from being forced to endure the radio at work every day. As far as I’m concerned radio in the office is the worst. To paraphrase Sartre, hell is other people’s radio stations.

I’m not sure there’s a single radio station I can tolerate at work every day. Even the ones I like start to grate. But if you put on Heart and force me to listen to the same bloody playlist, ask me every 15 minutes “Who’s on Heart?” and cause the same pissing conversations in my office “Oh I love this song, it’s from Dirty Dancing” “Oh I love that film! The bit where he’s all “I’m not letting anyone put baby in the corner any more!” – so good!”. And no one else notices. No one. Listening to Heart is like a Mobius loop of dispair. You’re much better off buying the latest Now That’s What I Call Music CD and pausing it every 15 minutes to take a claw-hammer to the back of your own hand while looking up adverts for windscreen repairs and car insurance deals.

I’m not against music at work. I think that as a group bonding experience there’s not much better than music (except possibly putting the kettle on and/or supplying office biscuits). But nowadays radio is so outdated. Why not replace the electric lights with candles and send the intern down the well for water while you’re at it?

With modern technology like Spotify we have the almost magical ability to hear nearly any song from any time period (mostly the last 50 years admittedly). This is not without it’s problems as I still tend to listen to the same 20 or so songs, but with the collected taste and wisdom of a whole office, you get an eclectic mix and share recommendations, or you can put entire albums on and listen from start to finish – what a novel idea!

Video killed the radio star, but I think we should class it as euthanasia.

photo credit: DARC Funkertag 2004 via photopin (license)