“Love is a Charizard”.
“You heard me, love is a Charizard. You used to collect Pokémon cards, right?”
“Of course, I still have a bunch under my bed.”
“Oh thank God, I was scared of what was in that shoebox under your bed.”
“Well then you’ll know that the most valued of all the cards was the Charizard.”
“Well in the base set. If you were to include the Jungle, Fossil…”
“You know I don’t! And don’t get started with all your Team Rocket talk!”
“Well, the Charizard was the ultimate goal. Every booster pack contained the potential of finding a Charizard to lord it over your friends and show that Timmy Brandon that you were worthwhile.”
“Psychological breakthroughs aside, where are you going with this?
“Well that was the true excitement of collecting. Imagine if you’d found the Charizard in the very first pack you bought?
“That would have been amazing!”
“Would it though? You’d have been deprived of all the fun and excitement of the search, the hunt, the stories of all the trades you’d have to do, the packs you bought. And that’s love. Imagine finding love straight out of the gates. You miss out on all the stories, the first dates, the break ups, the one night stands.”
“Yeah, but would you rather you didn’t have it?”
“Well that’s the problem, if the very first pack contained that Charizard, how would I know its value? To me it’s just as valuable as any other card – less so in fact because I already owned it.”
“Plus you don’t have a Charmander or Charmeleon to evolve it from.”
“You wouldn’t even have a deck at all to use it.”
“Let alone the shed-load of fire energies to make it anywhere near effective”
“OK you’re really missing the point here. What I’m saying is that if you fall in love without all that other shit, you’ll never appreciate what you have in the same way. Your entire view of the game, the meaning of collecting, is entirely warped by your success, and no amount of other people saying how lucky you are will ever convince you they’re right”.
“I see what you mean”
“But that’s bullcrap”
“Because it’s not about finding that one which everyone is looking for because it’s objectively the best. It’s completely unique to you.
“Nor is it a binary thing. You don’t “achieve” love. It’s about finding someone to grow with, who shapes you and changes you in ways you don’t expect as the two of you become ever closer. The in-jokes. The shared memories. The milestones. It’s not about meeting the right person, it’s about becoming the right couple. Neither of you are the same person you were going in to it, as you intertwine together and change. That’s what love is.”
“Exactly. Love is a Ditto.”
You realise that anyone who doesn’t understand Pokémon probably thinks that’s a ‘Ghost’ reference, right?