One-Man War Machine


“So how was the stag do?”

“Amazing! Went paint-balling and I absolutely destroyed the opposition. A new side of me came out. I was… commanding. Me! Can you imagine it?

One-man War Machine

Paintballing – the inevitable consequence of making men do DIY.

“I honestly can’t”.

“I’m genuinely considering a career move into the armed forces. They need men like me.. They need men of courage and conviction. Men who can inspire troops and help them to become more than a group of individuals, but instead a unit. I could be such a leader. I could become a four star general.

“Maybe two stars, a hash, a question mark and an exclamation mark”.


“You know, swearing when written down.”


“Yeah, it really doesn’t work out loud, It’d need to write it down somewhere.



“Never mind – I’m telling you I could be the change that’s require in a modern army. I could bring a sense of justice and order to the world, helping establish an age of peace and prosperity that’s never been know.

“OK Captain Smugwash, are you going to get into the car or not?

“Erm… I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“My muscles ache far too much so I can’t bend at the knee.”

“You truly are a cut above regular men”.

“When we get home will you cook me a massive curry and stroke my head once we’ve eaten it?”

“OK, my one-man-war-machine”.

photo credit: dbkfrog via photopin cc


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